A Brief Guide To Post-Election Strategy

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The Backstabbers Guild Of Australia is not an irrational or unrealistic organisation. We are not unreasonable. We do not stray into the weeping swamps of emotion – or if we do it is merely to fish for carp and dead bodies.

In a word, we are pragmatic. We used to be semi-pragmatic but someone filed the sear off and now we are the full auto. We can empty a belt of good solid practical advice into any bush that rustles out on the perimeter –  and we got a lot more advice in store.

To this end we would like to offer our assistance to those people who are unhappy at the results of the recent American presidential election. We’ve noted their Facebook postings and the clickads on the side feed and rated them on a scale of 10 – 1. 10 being effective, adult behaviour with every chance of making a helpful contribution and 1 being the worst sort of snot-nose Mom’s basement trollery. Generous as we may wish to be, the average of the postings has risen only to 3.8 and is wavering…

So we have decided in this and subsequent postings to offer clear practical BGA advice on how to behave over the next four years. If you want to make a difference, here are the first two ways to do it:

a. Conduct an honest personal audit of yourself. If you are a person who has entered the U.S. with the intent of harming the people or institutions of the country, are you going to be subject to some form of legal sanction? It may seem perfectly all right to you to make bombs in your home country and to explode them on the roadside, but this may be against local ordinances in many parts of the U.S. You would be wise to admit this to yourself and to desist in the activity. At the very least go to your local police or sheriff or to the FBI and ask whether you are permitted to make bombs. Be guided by their advice.

b. Likewise ask yourself if you have the correct immigration permits and papers for an extended stay in the country. You’ll know it by looking at your passport and green card, but if you are in any doubt, go to the immigration department and ask for guidance.

There, that should start you off well, and we can go on splendidly from here in the next posting. We’ll be telling you how you can resist all sorts of things.

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