Readers of this series of articles by the Backstabbers Guild Of Australia may be wondering at the lack of a distinctly British award from the Guild – particularly as we were formed in that most British of states – Victoria. Well, you need wait no longer. The Committee presents you with : the Victoria Crutch.
This distinctively shaped medal is to be awarded to fearless campaigners for sexual rights or wrongs on the internet – people who demand 112% equality or inequality in everything to do with their twiddley bits and who are prepared to meme loudly until they get it. No issue is too delicate and no argument too scathing to daunt them – and we can but admire their ability to return to the topic again and again.
We have decided to emulate the British government in this award in several ways; it will be awarded on extremely rare occasions when the recipient has undergone desperate struggles – and it will, like the VC, be made of melted down weapons that have been captured from an old enemy. If this does not sound like much, consider how hard it is to melt the average sex toy without setting fire to the bedspread.
We are not exactly certain that we can get The Queen to pin them on to recipients but we are hopeful that we can get A queen.
Note: No suffragettes were harmed in the making of this post.
Post note: The correct form of address to a British woman in India who is engaged in flooding the internet with short political messages that are encapsulated on one panel is Meme-Sahib.