In name of Central Committee we welcome delegates from correctly-thinking divisions of social media. You are attending briefing to preparing for launch of the Dictatorship of the Pre-literate. You have been sent by cooperative regional masses to find out how to freely advance into open thought and peaceful uplands of happiness. So sit down, shut up, and do as we tell you. Dissenters will be liquidated.
You are learn which memes will to be posted in spontaneous uprisings of rage. These are issued to you by Central Stores and must be signed for. Strict accounting practises will be adhered to. You will post these memes at the direction of the Central Committee. Saboteurs will be shot.
Enemies of the State Of Social Outrage will be identified by us and included upon lists of hate. Each social media cooperative will fulfill its weekly, monthly, and yearly quota of scorn and distress within specified time frame. Rewards in the form of Committee postings of approval will be given in the form of ” What He Said ” postings and approved emoticons. Revanchists will be confined to internal camps for retraining.
Heroes of Social Outrage will be awarded Committee pensions and be given holidays on the Gold Coast in approved and hygienic barracks.
From time to time certain disloyal elements may seek to disrupt work of Central Committee by publishing facts that are awkward or damaging. Any post that does not follow Party Directive No. 8 must be reported immediately and then quarantined from general viewers. Failure to do this will result in a charge of collaboration…and we need not remind you what the Politically Correct Police do to collaborators.
Disperse now to your monitors and begin to praise Committee. Typographical errors will result in a withdrawal of rations.
Note: Party Directive No. 8 is now banned. Party Directive No. 8 has disappeared. Party Directive No. 9 will now be followed. The first rule of Party Directive No. 9 is there was never any Party Directive No. 8.