I Told You/Me So

Vote
Now that the Australian federal election for both houses of parliament is finished and the results are in, I wish to gloat/commiserate with all my readers.

The result is exactly as I wanted/ feared and I hope you are all satisfied/devastated. We are in for another three years of heaven/hell. The success of the candidate in my own electorate has put me over the moon/in deepest depression and I am sure the party is too. At no time did we hope/doubt/predict/scoff at/suspect/pay for/deny /strut/shrink from this result. Time will tell whether we are headed for a glorious future/sad fate. We have already received congratulations/condolences from the British Prime Minister/ Leader of the Opposition.

These have been enshrined/discarded.

Now we must move forward/shrink back in triumph/loathing from the pathway of righteousness/expedience and assure/deny our descendants/ ancestors their rightful/wrongful place in history. Much/little will depend upon how we lift the spirits/crush the soul of our fellow workers. No effort must be spared to integrate/divorce them from the workplace/prison. And we must not forget migrants/interlopers who contribute/steal from our economy. They must be uplifted/ rooted out and welcomed/ejected. To this end, I have given orders for a reception centre/wall to be constructed and counsellors/guards posted for the first sight of the boats. We have laid in a adequate stock of welcome wagon baskets/harpoon missiles to deal with them.

Please join hands and sing the national anthem: Advance Australia Fair/ Nobody Knows De Trouble I’se Seen.

 

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