Selling The Truth Part One: Feeling Up The Market

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A recent typographical error on the part of someone posting randomly on Facebook has proved to be a wonderful new source of income for the Backstabbers Guild Of Australia.

The Facebook person wrote ” Selling the truth ” instead of ” Seeking the truth “. People can do what they like with their spare time but it is undeniable that there is a lot more money to be made selling than seeking. It is all a case of getting your priorities right.

For any successful sale, you must know who your market is.  No good selling snow to the Inuit or sand to the Arabs. In the case of truth not everyone needs it, but the people who do need it need it now. Airplane pilots who suddenly find the engine has gone all silent – bomb disposal experts who have gotten to the red wire, blue wire, and ticking noise – and parents who find blood on the carpet are all candidates for truth and are prepared to buy it without haggling.

People who do not actually need the truth but could be persuaded to get a trial pack and see if it takes the smell away include small business employers and teachers. In some cases they are the perfect candidates for secondhand or out-dated truth that works well enough but is not stylish.

Of course there is also a healthy market amongst people who do not need the truth at all – indeed who can make better use of not-truth – and any retailer is wise to keep both varieties in stock. It’s also worth bearing in mind the old adage of not judging your customers after they have paid – people who buy not-truth are sensitive about this and become defensive about it. Even if they take away a large portion of it and seem to be quite blasé about it, you are best not to shout ” Liar, Liar, Pant’s On Fire ! ” after them.

There have been some schools of treachery that have cautioned people to be careful who they sell truth to – lest it be taken away and cut up into smaller portions and abused. The Australian Bureau of Statistics – also known as the Grey-Sleeveless-Jumper school of thought – has put a label on their boxes of information prohibiting people from cutting the census and income numbers apart and selling them in nickel bags. Quite frankly this is misplaced – people with only a little amount of money only want a little bit of the truth to get high on. Large amounts of facts overwhelm them.

The BGA has always felt that research into the needs, desires, lives, bank accounts, police records, medical history, and receipts from jeweller’s shops is effort well-spent. It enables us to get in touch with our clients, and even if that touch is a stiletto to the back or a hand in the wallet, the contact is appreciated. No-one should feel isolated or out of reach…

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