Todays announcement from the National Union Of Offended Organism’s spokesmammal, Lex Fiat, has put the telecommunications media on notice; no more discrimination against criminals.
Up until now householders ( referred to in the NUOOO purple paper as Neo-bourgeois space invaders ) have been able to request that their telephone and internet providers ( referred to by the NUOOO as quasi thug-like masses of incompetency ) shield them from African requests for money laundering and Indian demands for internet and bank passwords. This will cease under the regime of the NUOOO as free access will be granted to all Australians at any time and in any location. Barriers to free trade, free thought, free love, and free prostate examinations will fall as the new legislation is announced. The fact that the laws are promulgated by 14 unhappy people in a lecture theatre in Central TAFE is neither here nor there – they will be announced and all who refuse to obey will be rounded up, put on trains to South Australia, and re-educated in camps.
It is not yet known whether this new law will affect the advertising of television shows that feature swearing Englishmen and intimidation as part of their scripts, or if there will be an exemption until the money runs out. Dance shows and shows featuring leather-like Greek and Italian housewives swearing at each other are also unlikely to be affected. Or more affected than they are at present.
We will keep you posted on the moves to rename Donald Trump in honour of the Sandanistas.
Note: No vegans were slaughtered in the preparation of this post.