Deaf, Pregnant, and Arrested


Just letting you know the fate of any young women who are going to be passengers in this van. Or so the urban legend would have it. Don’t believe it.


In reality they would probably not allowed into the back of the van in case they messed up the extensive upholstery or expensive sound system, so that takes care of the pregnancy and the hearing. The arrest is still a possibility, but it would be for excessive noise in a built-up area and if they were just passengers they would not be liable.



I don’t suppose they would be hanging around the local shops or car parks, if the surfboards on the rack are any indication – and any rate the owner of that paint job is not going to risk it in a lot full of Hyundai hatchbacks and renegade shopping trolleys – not without covering it in mattresses and bubble wrap. It is hard enough to persuade the drivers of semis to park at Coles as it is and they have channel iron bolted to their sides.


Well, at least the pictures are nice. Florid, yes. Overblown, yes. Naif, yes. But at least they do catch the eye. Like a three-gang salmon hook…


Aw, I can’t complain. The orange flames are great and graphic and the upholstery is dazzling. This is a car that will stay interesting for decades – provided that the Hyundais do not get the doors and the ovaries do not get the girlfriend.



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