I Have Answers For Sale…

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This first answer – seen in the heading – is available at two prices – regular and Happy Hour. We recommend that if you are on a budget that you defer asking the question until 5:00 PM. Asking the question too rapidly or too many times may affect your judgement. And operating a motor vehicle after three of these questions may lead to you being asked a number of other…worse… questions by public officials – policemen and magistrates in particular. Be warned.

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The second answer is a hard yellow metal that is mined in underground pits in hot countries or washed out of freezing streams in cold ones. It is used to dissolve difficulties in diplomatic situations – slipped into the pockets of the right people…at the right time…it acts as a remarkable administrative lubricant.

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The third answer is also a metal that is nearly as heavy as the second example but grey in colour and softer. It is used in a shower to eliminate problems on the international scene. This round form was supplied to the British for many years for use by highly-trained groups of young men whenever Whitehall wanted something that they could not afford to purchase with the second answer.

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The fourth answer in green has been formulated to correct the mistaken assumption that Apple iMac products can be made increasingly sleek and compact and then continue to operate successfully in hot climates. It is a crude answer, but effective – much like the example just above it.

The fifth answer is No. Its opposite, Yes, is the one that most people want. Giving out the  No is more challenging. It allows you to see further under the skin of the questioner—but then so does a Swann Morton No.22 blade.

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