” No Offence, But…”



When anyone starts to talk with that phrase they mean to cause a great deal of offence. They use it for three purposes:

a. They mean to fix your attention so that you will slow down and listen to the nastiness or smarmy abuse. It is the equivalent of trying to make a cruiser stop, turn, and present her side to the submarine for a direct hit. What would be poor judgement on the bridge of the cruiser is poor judgement in a conversation.

b. They wish disarm you into listening through to the end, even when you realise what they are doing. You are waiting for it all to get better. It never does.

c. They wish to deflect whatever anger their offensive behaviour deserves – possibly by trying to pretend it is all a joke. It isn’t and they never intended it to be. The joke bit is so that they can escape.

It is somewhat the equivalent of a school bully coming up to a victim and then looking left and right before they punch them – sometimes they look to either side to see if the authorities are there to stop them and sometimes it is to see if their mates are seeing how tough they are.

However you see it, it is precursor to a bad time for you if you do not act quickly. As soon as you hear the phrase you need to instantly say ” You are frequently offensive – why should it be different now? “. Or simply ” You are offensive.” or ” More lies from you? “, or simply…” Liar”. The verbal weapon they aimed at you instantly turns on them – and their aggression is something that they have to continue openly but without even their own support.

It is the equivalent of kicking the school bully as soon as he gets into range. A good fast hard kick at the nearest portion and then you can either keep on kicking or sweep away. Future encounters are never at close range.

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