Looming Near You In The Near Future


Every time I think that the motor car designers have reached the maximum in any particular thing I am proved wrong – it is the same when I consider the devices made by electronics firms – I think they could not be smaller and I’m wrong. Can’t figure out which is more frustrating.

In the case of motor vehicles I accept that some things have to be large. If you are going to transport army tanks you are going to have to accept the size of the Altair tank transporter as reasonable. Not in the carpark of the local Woolies, mind, but a suitable size for the intended purpose. I will also grant an exemption from grumbling when it comes to container trucks and ambulances – volume is necessary. But not when it comes to Western Suburbs Wank Wagons. Then it is just a pain.

The WSWW is the large white, silver, or grey German or British/German 4WD SUV that looks like it could take on Everest in second gear but never goes any further than the Margaret Riviera down a sealed 4-lane freeway. Even here I would grant its right to exist if the owner did not insist on using it to collect groceries in the aforementioned Woolies car park or in the angled parking bays in the middle of the street.

You see, when they do, you don’t. See, that is, particularly if you are driving a normal sedan car and they park next to you. You have no view of the traffic flow if you try to move out of the parking space and you might as well wait until they return to their mechanical fortress to drive away. You can risk easing out of the space fore or aft but there is just as likely to be another of the breed waiting for you to try it so they can flash their halogen driving lights and bare their Bangkok incisors at you.

Same thing at the stop sign or lights. You’ll not be able to see what is coming but any other tall vehicles behind you will honk and fume at your caution. Fortunately I took care of my fingers when I was in practice and now I can use them singly or in multiples of two to communicate with the drivers of these Suburban Iron Ore Freighters. I think that most of them do understand the code, though they don’t look happy about it…

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