The Whether Report For The Coming Week…Peanut Butter

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Whether? Whether you want to hear it or not, you are going to be bombarded by the weather maniacs. Brace yourselves.

We would all find it somewhat odd, even ludicrous, if we were assailed from all sides by dire predictions of peanut butter. If our Facebook friends weighed in on an hourly basis warning us of a week of Crunchy Nut followed by a brief period of Smooth. Should this be trumpeted loudly from every radio and television station with stock footage of Kraft jars and knives swooping over bread we would think that the world had become unhinged. Yet we eagerly lap up/sit still for/cringe away from just these sorts of reports about the weather.

Some weather reports are necessary. If you are a fisherman setting out for a trip on the ocean you do want to know if there are going to be 200 Kph winds and 20 metre seas. And you want to know before you put the esky in the tinny and cast off from the dock.  Likewise if you are a farmer who needs to know when to set out the cabbages or take in the sheep based upon the likelihood of lightning or mint sauce. These people need specialised advice and the Meteorological department should bend every effort and use scientific device to give it to them. Likewise the military – weather is a strategic weapon.

For the rest of us, as we cannot actually do anything about the weather except mumbo jumbo, we really can be left to our own devices. If we see it cloudy and wet we know not to put out the washing, and if we see it hot, dry, and 45º we know to sit inside the house and drink beer. We can tell these conditions without being hourly bombarded by the press.

As for reporting on the past weather…”How We Sweltered/Froze/Floated Away On A Flood Of Muddy Water hour by hour and suburb by suburb…well the people who have done any of the foregoing know that they did and hearing it again serves little purpose. Those who didn’t also are not served by the screeching, either, past a single comprehensive report. Urgent bulletins live from the thermometer do little to help.

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