The Cocktail Car

 

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If it wasn’t for the fact that many of the commuters who ride our suburban railway system do so after parking their cars at the outer stations I would cheerfully recommend that the Transperth railway people put a cocktail car onto most trains. Something that would serve brioches and little cups of coffee in the morning rush and Martinis and Manhattans on the 5:00 PM return special. It would be a particularly good thing for those travelling as far south as Mandurah – the hour’s trip would be dead boring each day otherwise.

To keep the tone of the thing I would only serve sophisticated tipples at sophisticated prices. And none of the weird stuff with suggestive names that is the fashion at trendy bars. The commuters could arrive home sober or blasted, just as they preferred, but they would do so without exuding the smell of blueberry frappé.

Of course there would be complaints about it. From the WCTU, the Muslims, and possibly the Quakers. Possibly from Dan Murphy or other liquor outlets. The answer to these would be to open the competition to them by allowing them to operate their own railway systems throughout the metro area. Then they could dispense sanctity or sherry just as they pleased on their own rolling stock.

Note that smokers can be easily accommodated as well by simply coupling a CTFX open wagon after the last car of the railcar set. If you give them little handrails they can hang on as the train goes along an puff away in the breeze.

Heading Image: Monoxide and carcinogen chamber full of drug addicts at Tokyo Railway Station.

 

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