And I know your shallowest desires…for I am The Spirit Of The Blog!
Actually I am the Spirit Of The Freebie Blog, apparently. If I had my own paid blog site I could reverse the order of things and sell my writing and your reading for money. Or so I am told. I can’t tell whether this is a great money-making opportunity I have neglected or a great money-losing trap I have escaped.
All this speculation came about when a friend who reads my work commented about pie makers. Not Mrs. Mac or Peters – I mean home appliances that look like waffle makers but without the tire-tread pattern in the plates. They enclose pastry and fillings and cook them on the countertop. Good idea or bad idea depending on the ingredients, but that is beside the point. Advertisements for these ingenious little devices have popped up on her computer here in Australia as she read my New Years Message.
Well this surprised me, as I never included any reference to pies in my Message. I was pleased the WordPress company had considered me worthy of selling pies – an honourable trade and one that I should be proud to own as my own if I knew squat about making pies. But apparently it is not so. The pie makers do not reflect my mind so much as the mind of my friend. It is like this:
She has been recently interested in getting a pie maker. Because pies are good things and she likes good things. So she has looked on the internet at pie makers. The internet people, who live in California, Moscow, and Cairns, for all I know, have noticed her interest in pies and pie makers and have attached an advertisement for them to my New Year Message on her computer. If she had googled up air compressors she would have gotten an advertisement from Allis Chalmers or Ingersoll Rand.
This means that my delicate sentiments are going around the world attached to whatever the reader’s mind has fixed upon. I shudder at the thought. Pie makers or air compressors are one thing but what if the reader has a taste for the tasteless? There I am on their screen with something appalling underneath. Anyone who looks at my gentle fun and sees the rape of Armenia below it makes a connection between me and the advertisement. Goddamned if I want that.
So. So, apparently if you want to specify what can accompany your own work, you have to pay for it. I am going to investigate during the coming year and see what is necessary to implement this. I have a little money and can afford certain measures. I am going to see what can be done. Rest assured, my tastes are wide and include all sorts of things – pie makers are on the side of the angels. I hope that all my posts are.
PS: I like pie. And hot rods. And custom cars. And pin-up girls. And lots of things.