It is a covered basket made of wicker with a padlock on the front. The cover is so other people cannot see what I am afraid to try and the lock makes sure they don’t do any peeking. I can look in there late at night when everyone else is asleep and re-arrange the fears.
Trouble is, as it has aged the wicker work has gotten brittle and bits of it have broken off. Every so often something falls out on the floor. This can be very embarrassing if it makes a noise and particularly if the fear is something very old. People scoff at me for keeping such a tatty old thing and tell me to get rid of it altogether. That’s all very well for them to say, but no-one else wants my old fears either.
Take the business of the air brush. I knew for years that it would all be too much trouble to do and that I would never be able to make an air brush work for building things like model cars. Like a fool, I got tempted in Metro Hobbies in Melbourne and bought a medium-priced one and had it sent home. Naturally I put it in the too hard basket. After a friend found me a reasonably-priced air compressor at Bunnings I went to look in the basket one day and the airbrush kit fell out. I was so embarrassed I hooked it up to the compressor and painted a model car and then found that it won’t fit back in the basket!
It was the same with my fear of writing. Three weblog columns and four years later and the basket is starting to break up.
I’m afraid that this sort of thing will be repeated and I will end up playing a musical instrument or speaking a foreign language. If my fear of the difficulty of flying a radio-control plane or learning Photoshop falls out of the basket I will be up for yet another round of expense. This sort of thing is very nerve-wracking.