New Year’s Resolutions – The Big Ten

Ten

I shall have to take this new year – the first one in retirement – very seriously. To aid in this I shall need to make ten resolutions.

  • Find my old enemies and buy them a slap-up lunch with good liquor and delicious food. Enjoy myself immensely. Show them that their enmity was and is futile.
  • Find my old friends and buy them a slap-up dinner with good liquor and delicious food. Enjoy myself immensely. Show them that they have not been forgotten.
  • Discover how to make my weblog columns more distinctive and control the advertisements that cluster round them.
  • Fantasise and illustrate my fantasies. Produce a book of the illustrations.
  • Learn to scratchbuild models.
  • Build a retirement income through my photography and writing.
  • Accost innocent strangers in the street and force non-violence on them whether they want it or not.
  • Lead a doomsday cult of deluded followers onto a sodden paddock in the Swan Valley at midnight in the middle of winter in  pouring rain. And then slip quietly away as they stand there singing ” Amazing Grace ” for hours until the shire ranger comes and tells them to piss off.
  • Air condition the computer/photo room for summer. Or learn to type naked.
  • Develop a gun that will fire bedbugs.

I’ll let you now how we are getting on as the year develops.

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