The Wild Goose Chase – The Backstabbers Guild Of Australia’s Official Sport

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[This blog post acknowledges the original owners of phenyl bichlorate of lithium hydroxide in a 34% aqueous solution. This is a state government-mandated reason for wearing a pashminka shawl.]

Some people think that you can best torture others with hot irons and sharp spikes. Some think it can be done with starvation. Some even opt for rap music. Well, the Backstabbers Guild Of Australia knows better – we know that the best form of agonising treatment that you can mete out is the wild goose chase.

A quick definition; a Wild Goose Chase ( WGC) is a search implemented for something that cannot be found. The least offensive form of WGC is when everyone concerned genuinely thinks that the object of the search does really exist and can be found. This is a pure thing – just folly that hardly constitutes sin – indeed some schools of thought refer to this as a Mild Goose Chase, and excuse it. Where it gets sinister and becomes a real WGC is when the person ordering the goose chase secretly knows that there is no chance of success but sends the unwary off a’searching nevertheless.

The really unholy form is seen when both the people who order the search and those condemned to undertake it know that there is no prospect of success…but still expend time and tears going through the motions. This is known as the God Damned Goose Chase. It can lead to language and blows.

It does not have to be done from the top down in an organisation – though many times it is. The boss can order the operations manager who orders the works manager who orders the floor manager who orders the underling…and the WGC begins. If the underling wishes to drive the upper segments they can suggest something is missing and will be needed to prevent a future disaster. The bosses see the danger and rush around trying to find the missing email or secret pact that has supposedly disappeared. Computer systems are wonderful for losing communications – particularly if they have operation systems that cannot think outside of typographical errors or codes.

You can even send customers or clients flying off looking for geese. Just hint that there was a recent internet report of something that would be of benefit to the client…but you just can’t remember the address. ” It had an “e” in it and mentioned that you can get a cash back and a discount as well…You ought to look it up when you get home…”. Depend upon it that they will. They will try…

 

 

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