Hold The _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Banner High.

Lone Star

Mind you, be careful – eventually someone somewhere is going to object to it and start a Facebook campaign against it. They’ll wring their hands and demand justice and compensation and a Royal Commission and white Toyotas for the fact-finding panel. There will be university professors on television. If you try to defend The Banner you will be called bad names.

It will be the same if you try to defend the brand names on lots of consumer products. No-one will object to the actual contents of the packets but if the advertising labels can at all be construed to be connected with something that someone doesn’t like, then the game is on. You would be amazed at the howls of horrified and offended rage that can be generated by confectionary.

You may think that you will be able to retaliate against this sort of thing by complaining in your turn about the complainants. In general this doesn’t work well unless you can actually catch them in the act. Even then, there are an increasing number of acts that are excused as art, freedom, or social justice these days and these can then be held sacrosanct. It sometimes just depends on who gets in first and has the snazziest spokesperson.

A clever ploy that sometimes succeeds is to invent an different banner to hold high – the African nations in the last half of the 20th century were always doing this. Anything with red, green, yellow, black, blue, and machetes was sewn together and hoisted over a pile of bodies. If the government changed the flags could be unpicked and re-sewn in a new configuration – and re-hoisted over a different pile of bodies.

Or, have multiple banners. Let the general run of oiks howl and foam over one flag while quietly substituting another. It is seen all the time with motion picture credits – sometimes the list of holding companies, production teams, studios, and advertising agencies is longer than the actual feature, and frequently more entertaining. Consider getting one of the studios to rebrand your original to be cuter and more Disney-friendly.

Above all, let your friends and suppliers know what you are going to do well in advance of the release date for whatever is coming – whether it be outrage or abject apology, you are going to want to have stocks of pitchforks and torches or crying towels well in hand before hitting the microphone. Timing is everything.

 

 

 

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