The Backstabbers Guild Ruling On Gay Marriage

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Today any number of the people on Facebook have put a transparent spectrum filter over their profile picture on this popular social media site  – presumably to indicate their support for the recent judgement from the United States Supreme Court that same-sex marriages are to be legal in all 50 states. While most of the images look similar, due to the automatic mechanism that Facebook provides, a couple of them seem to have gone a bit further. One has added infra-red bands and one has both IR and a fair part of the ultraviolet frequencies displayed. This probably means something but we are afraid to ask.

This may be the start of a new fashion – heraldic filters indicating opinions and loyalties. For the people who do not like the idea of gay marriage we suggest an overlay of alternate black and white bands, to indicate that you see things in those terms. Seems logical.

Those Facebook subscribers who advocate tying people up in handcuffs and whacking them about could opt for an overlay on their profile picture of about fifty shades of gray.

Of course national or organisational flags could be used, but as all nations have both good and bad in them, and experience the highs and lows of fortune, there may be times when the display of the colours will be misunderstood. To obviate this an entirely new set of emoticons will be designed to indicate mistrust, secret envy, reckless disregard of the speed limits on Leach Highway, and the desire to dress as a peach. Overlain on the basic colours this should get some sort of message across.

Facebook will also be introducing a new feature that allows viewers to edit out the profile picture of whomever they wish and substitute one of equal or greater value. It will not be an arbitrary decision. The entirety of any subscriber’s friends list will be canvassed and a majority vote taken. Basically, if your friends say ” You ugly…”, then Facebook will take them at their word and substitute a picture of Shirley Temple. If you are REALLY ugly it will be Shirley Temple bending over.

Footnote: the official Backstabbers Guild of Australia ruling on gay marriage is:

“Hah. That’ll teach ’em.”

We are going to reserve judgement until later when we will provide the ” I told you so.” hotline and the ” Hold this level while I adjust the rubber feet. ” technical service. It will be a paid subscription. Hell, it’s working for Adobe…

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