Luzerne Armoured Confectioners Brigade

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Here’s a little known fact  – the Swiss Army maintains a fleet of dispensary vans and armoured chocolate carriers for deployment in times of war or other national emergency. We recently saw one at the Whiteman Park vintage car show.

The vans are fully equipped with cocoa heaters, warm milk taps and a small recoilless rife that can fire fudge bars over a distance of about 700 metres. The rifle’s crew are known in the Swiss Army as “Fudge Packers”.

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This sort of vehicle was found necessary during army exercises in the 1920’s when the general command noticed that Swiss soldiers were tending to freeze up and fall over if left unattended for any period of time. They initially thought it was the cold but research showed that the Swiss tend to lose concentration and become ineffective when the amount of chocolate falls below a certain level in their blood. Initially they were supplied by dogs with casks of hot chocolate under their chins but increased army numbers in the Second World War meant that there were not enough dogs to ensure combat effectiveness. Field pipelines proved too hard to lay and maintain, so the idea of mobile vans was developed.

To alert the troops in the field that the vans are about to arrive they’re equipped with a sound system that plays a distinctive bugle call – ” Greensleeves “. These vans were particularly effective during the Swiss invasion and colonisation of Zumba in East Africa – they issued chocolate milk.

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